Thursday, February 28, 2013

Trusting is a fickle thing...

     For Lent I have (had) decided to do 3 things, instead of giving up junkfood or caffeine, which I heavily contemplated, I am fasting 2 days a week,  have dedicated at least 1 day to silence and prayer, and have made the promise to LET GO.

     I tend to be a planner, not doing anything spontaneous or too out of the ordinary, for fear of something happening, for fear that I won't know what comes next.
To TRUST, letting God take the reigns.


This is so frightening, I feel like a child lost in the woods.
 I guess the main reason for this fear or anxiety is, I don't know what to expect, I don't know if the outcome will be anything like "it should be",and most of all, because I am not in control.

 I am now having to rely on Divine Providence.

God intervenes all the time, but I don't think I have ever had my eyes, spiritual and physical, open to the little nuances of His presence. I mean, I am aware of his grace and have been blessed with knowing of many miracles, but to REALLY see God alive in this world, in this very moment...is almost unfathomable.

It is not totally out of reach though. I have, over the last few weeks been able to see, small threads of God's bigger tapestry, as my life is re-woven in a direction I never thought it would go. I have also been amazingly blessed with witnessing the faith filled struggle of one of my friends recovering from addiction, and yet another friend realize that there is more to life than what she has settled for.

Back to my relying on Divine Providence, I must now---once again--- learn to trust that God will fill each need in His time, that no matter where a journey, no matter how long or short, begins is just that THE BEGINNING and only God knows the end.

This is me jumping into the deep end, into the unknown world of trusting that God will not let me fall!

Jesus I trust in you.

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